The Third Team

Footy commentators often use metaphors borrowed from boxing to describe footy matches. Teams are described as either looking to land the knock out blow, or to get up off the canvas. Usually my team has just been struck with a knock out blow, or it is the one that cannot get up off the canvas. In boxing, the referee is nicknamed as the 'the third man in the ring'. The three umpires of a footy match, are the 'third team' on the field. They are usually hated by both sets of supporters. But, at other times the Arabic and Chinese saying: 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' applies. 'The third team' of the footy-field is a little more complex than 'the third man' of a boxing ring: for, he (there is yet to be a woman field umpire at AFL level) is three. And thus, this third team is fragmented, divided and multiple. The three members of the team, apply different interpretations to all the possibilities and variables that occur throughout a game. Moreover, if a 'bad' decision by an umpire is made in one team's goal square, with 2 seconds on the clock left, and the team that has been awarded the free-kick is down by 3 points, then, the consequences of the 'bad' decision are somewhat extreme. Such an event could be compared to a bad free-kick being awarded to X team in the middle of the ground when Y is winning by 80 points - only a pedant would notice or care.

Supporters often shout that an umpire was 'wrong'. Or, in more polite terms, say that their interpretation was wrong or incorrect. Some say that a decision was 'right' in terms of 'the letter of the law', but that it goes against 'the spirit of the law'. The one problem is, is that whether or not the umpire was right or wrong doesn't matter: his decision is final. It applies immediately. Even when a shocking decision has been made, you see the good players react immediately to change their position, rather than remonstrate with the umpire (which could give away a 50'meter penalty). The umpire performs and implements an absolute truth upon the game of footy. The umpires (all three of them!) are Macchiavellian dictators: against us at one moment, for them at the next. The umpires do not change decisions; they are irreversible, complete, final. Complaints are not acceptable. The umpires cannot be wrong because there is no alternative to their decision. To play a game of footy is to play against the oppositon and the umpires. The rules that are applied are those that are in the rule book and whatever the umpire decides at any given moment during game. Complaints regarding umpiring and poor decisions is the discourse of losers.